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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Been thinking a lot today: 2/10/2010

The globes and maps of my childhood and adolescence taught me a bit. But wow, the world is huge! 
I could see myself. I stepped out of my body and turned back to see my outsides.  I saw myself in perpetual movement, eternal. I could not focus only on me. I saw myself as a component to the inclusiveness of the huge Earth. I saw myself only stopping to listen to others' stories, shooting-the-shit with family and friends. I was traveling alone. I was taking many different things that were not my own. God's world, The Mystery.
     Sometimes, though, I really think about having a permanence on Earth. A grasp for assurance that      will exist in 2 days, 5 months, or 10 years from now. 
A Home. Home is many places. Where I was born is not one of those, yet it is.  Home can be a place of memory, experience, conversation, or all three in haphazard flux and fluidity. 
Home is inclusive.  Its darkness overcome by Light, Christ, Goodness, Beauty or full-blown Emotion and Feeling. Home is a place where friends and family live. Places of short-term occupation and those places' fellow occupants. Home is today.

Monday, February 1, 2010

My. I. Me. (An ego-bath): 2/1/2010

"Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is a new creation."

     The past 3 days I have been reading a certain set of devotionals on what I am currently believing what the general calling is in life for each individual. This is a question that is always on my mind due to a life saturated in religious experiences, specifically in an Evangelical Christian milieu. It is important to note that I had schooling within this same context and religious services from up to at least 3 times a week for awhile. My formation was, and has been, constructively religious.
With that down in text, I can move on to realize that I am continually finding myself in efforts to figure out the call to life, the purpose, by pondering on my interests, my expectations, my desires, my enjoyments, my opportunities, my, my, my, my.... my devotionals too.

     So far, in my life, I realize how much I use "I" and "my." This is language and the way to communicate, I know no other way. Conversations tend to always be about me. If not, I am beginning to recognize an attempt to detour to manipulate the focus on me. It is not a conscious redirection, it is a tendency that renders itself involuntary. 

     After, re-reading a journal entry the other day, I began to wince every time the words i, me, and my appeared on the pages. Granted, it could be the lack of writing skills and scarcity of words, but that self-centered thinking and living was beginning to prick at my soft and tender side I name self-doubt.

     Referring back to my religious and spiritual formation, I claim to understand that my life is on in the same as God's life, solely because of Jesus Christ. The Redemption he promised humanity. My reality must be redemption. Many times in the Hebrew text's and Greek Texts of the Bible, God's word reminds us that Life is in Christ, directly and indirectly. He gave me new life, I am a new creation, I am forgiven, this relationship is restored through God, through Jesus because of his humanity, death, and to conclude the restoration, his resurrection. All of this is the Love. My only purpose on earth is to bring glory to God and spread the good news of Love and Life that is.

"God cannot deliver me while my interest is merely in my own character . . . the Apostle Paul was not conscious of himself. He was recklessly abandoned, totally surrendered, and separated by God for one purpose -- to proclaim the gospel of God."

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

"See now that I myself am He! There is no god besides me. I put to death and I bring to life, I have wounded and I will heal, and no one can deliver out of my hand."