Life gets complicated when trying to construct plans to find my human understanding of peace once again. My composed plans complicate relationships, day to day functionality, or even simple tasks like getting out of bed. Are these my own idiosyncracies? Must I embrace them and just learn to live with them? If so, I am learning slowly and meticulously. I've had glimpses of it working and I've found it hiding in some peculiar places.
The grandiose peace of God. It supersedes my understanding of peace and is hard to swallow sometimes. I don't know exactly where I need to go from there, but that is ok. I will simplify that and be grateful that my direction is rooted in my Father in heaven. But when you worship a God that is everywhere and in everything, direction takes on a new embodiment. This conflict is mostly, if not completely, internal for me. People say i'm laid back. For me the internal conflict between unconcern and a sense of purpose is ardent which makes me feel otherwise.
"If personal peace of mind is the highest good we can imagine, life with other people becomes difficult, especially when we are divided by cultures, values, education, or class."
From The Wisdom of Stability by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove